Children of Divorce ... Divorce often results in a couple suffering and stress.
The fact of having children increases anxiety and discomfort. Surely the separation was not installed as an option when starting a family.
This time we will look at the children. Then it is necessary to clarify that in most cases the separation of parents, children involves suffering for several reasons:
The divorce was not their decision, therefore I will assume that costs of living with a parent. This may cause some uncertainty in addition to suffering, fear of abandonment. From their beliefs may think that their parents separated because he or she is not a good boy or good girl, which have a direct impact on their self-esteem, on the image of himself.
When must also move from place inhabited by issues of economic arrangements or arrangements between the parents, the crisis that has to go through, he adds, the "duel of the move." Must leave spaces that were themselves, and perhaps elements, etc. ...
Each parent may also suffer their own anxieties about being separated from their children. Also feel fears and insecurities that cause you discomfort and imbalance. Would add to this, significant changes in schedules and habits, where children would be trapped in decisions that only emphasize the need for adults, without looking at what is happening to them. What would they need
basically divorced parents?
That both father and mother in this instance to understand that all aspects have to feel they are losing. All have lost family composition as it was. Also, everyone can feel that there may be other instances they will win. Sometimes when the links are so attached to us, do not give the value or dimension that is. And the distance can make us signifies a link, mind special mother-son, father-child relationship.
Children need both parents to notify them of the decision and that they clarify that they will always be considered by both of that this separation "has nothing to do with them." This will provide a framework for greater comfort and assurance that if it is a divorce, because there were problems could be resolved in a mature and responsible, by mutual agreement.
Another important aspect is that adults have in mind that from here the views of children, in some cases must be considered ... such as to respect them at some point, when they want to meet with the "father of turn ", because they have other interests ...
outstanding is also important to know the harm they can cause downgrading the paternal or maternal image in front of him. You must have
mind that if divorce can not "solve the conflict" that adults have, this could represent significant traces they leave on their children for their future ties.
To them, their parents until that time were its guarantee greater support and those who had deposited all his affection.
So when certain aspects are not taken into account, the anger, frustration and discomfort, frustration beyond the possibilities of adults, it is necessary to seek appropriate help. Counseling
process can help adults to accept this is happening to them and assume they feel, and then to agree and plan new instances of a less traumatic regarding identity and underpinning the new balance of each of the members involved in this situation.
Clr. Graciela Taffarelli.
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